Deidara, you Idiot
by Neverforgetus123
Summary: Can Deidara ever keep his mouth shut? How can Sayuri ever know how he truly feels? How can the "errand dog" of the Akatsuki survive in such a large group of men, and one woman? DeidaraXOC
1. The idiot

It was a cold and I was already worn out by the day's activities. For some reason today seemed to prolong more than any other day, maybe it was from lack of sleep… or it could be the annoying blonde artist walking slowly behind me.

"Oi! Sayuri-Chan, wait up, un." He never seemed to shut up. I stopped in my tracks and he caught up within seconds.

"Why are you so mad at me?" When I looked in his direction he had a serious look on his face. It annoyed me how he could even ask me that.

"You don't remember how much of a jerk you were being? You know you were being a real dick." He seemed a bit taken aback by my words, but being the jerk he is, he had to smirk.

"Poor Sayuri-Chan, always being picked on. Stop taking everything I say seriously, yeah." He started to laugh, and his laugh annoyed me further. The rest of the way to the Akatsuki base was spent in silence, and that's how I liked it.

Upon entering the base I Immediately ran to my room slamming the door behind me. I knew Deidara was soon to follow. Unfortunately there was no lock on my door, courtesy of the Akatsuki. I sat on my bed waiting for the door to fly open, which in fact, it did.

There he was standing in the door frame snickering silently to himself. "Well Say-Chan that was quite the entrance." I hate it when he calls me that. "I bet everyone heard that slam, un." He was pushing me over my limit.

"Idiot! Leave me alone, I want to be alone!" Deidara just laughed and walked in the room. I glared at him but he just rolled his eyes and sat at the edge of my bed. He looked at me and opened his mouth slightly like he was about to say something, but closed it the second it was open. I was forced to speak first.

"Deidara, why do you always pick fights with me?" I was expecting a laugh, but he just looked at me and sighed. "You know, guys usually make fun of the girls they care most about, hm." These words scared me. He scooted closer, and that scared me even more.

He made his was up my bed until his face was just inches away. "Just kidding, un." I should've seen this coming, but in the spur of the moment I wasn't thinking. I didn't even notice that these two little words caused tears to roll down my cheeks. I don't understand why two words could hurt so badly.

Deidara seemed surprised by the way I was crying. "Ah…Oi Say-Chan, w… what's wrong?" I couldn't stop the tears, and I felt like an idiot. The scene must have been pretty loud because Sasori and Itachi came to see what the problem was.

All I could manage to say was; "Deidara, you idiot!"


	2. The Errand dog

It was now three days after my little scene with Deidara. Once I stopped my blubbering, I had to come up with an explanation as of why I was crying. I told them I must've needed more sleep, though they didn't believe me for a second.

Deidara is still a jerk to me, but it seems like he's holding back now. Maybe crying like a baby made him a bit nicer.

"Oi Say-Chan, pay attention stupid, un." Or not. We were at one of those boring meetings were we sit for fifteen minutes just to hear Pain-Sama give orders. Unfortunately for me I get stuck with whoever has to get new groceries, I'm like their little errand dog.

Which in this case, it happens to be Hidan. Don't get me wrong Hidan isn't the last person I would choose to run errands with, but he isn't exactly my first. If I had to choose anyone to go shopping with it would have to be Sasori, mainly because he isn't annoying and he knows exactly what everyone needs.

The meeting was over and now it was time to follow our instructions. All of the pairs headed out of the base and off to do whatever the hell they need to. It was just me and Hidan, and he looked a little bit pleased.

"Sayuri, looks like you have errand duty with me today." I just giggled "So the usual routine?" He smirked and we headed out the door, shinobi are fast, nobody was there when we got outside.

We walked down the pathway leading to a small forest in silence. Something about the scythe on Hindan's back made me uneasy. He must have noticed me gawking at it, because he turned to face me with an evil grin.

"Pretty damn cool weapon, huh?" He reached for the handle and slid it off his back in seconds. Had I been the enemy I would have probably been a goner. The red blade could only be described with one word: Awesome.

He slipped the scythe back into place and we started walking again. We finally made our way down the path, and now we headed into the forest.

"Hidan, have you ever done something terrible, that you regret?" Crap, what did I do? Of course he has done something bad to be in the Akatsuki. Fortunately he just laughed at my question.

"I've done so many terrible things only Jashin knows how many." He snickered to himself and I ended up saying something stupid.

"I regret everything I've done." He stopped laughing and took a step backwards. He gave me an awkward look with his velvet eyes. I stopped a little ahead of him and spoke once more.

"I don't remember what I did or why I did it, but I know that whatever I did, landed me in the Akatsuki, so I'm kind of grateful but, I don't know." Hidan lost interest in my little speech in the middle of it and walked away. I didn't mind though, I don't really know why I said that out loud.

I caught up to Hidan, who was already a little ways farther than me. He was walking a little bit faster than before, but I guess we were taking more time than expected. The forest was coming to an end and that would soon lead to a small village. I never bothered finding out the names of villages besides the main five. There was the Sand, the leaf, the mist, the cloud, and the stone. Though there were others, like the rain, and snow.

I personally like the village hidden in the snow. Who knows why, snow just makes me happy. We were now making our way inside the village. Hindan's red cloud printed cloak seemed to stick out a bit in this village. Did I ever mention that I don't get a cloak, or a ring?

I guess I'm not really a part of the Akatsuki; I'm just sort of, there. It was now time to start our "mission." Our source of food was at an all-time low, and we needed to stock up. I have gotten used to shopping for tools, food, supplies, etc. Hidan on the other hand didn't know what to do.

"Damn it, how the hell am I supposed to know what to buy?" He was getting frustrated looking at which cups of ramen to choose from. I laughed and, took nine pork cups of the rack. He watched me as I reached for one chicken flavored pack, which was higher up than I could reach.

This time he laughed and picked it up without an effort. "Thanks." I was a little annoyed to see how many people giggled at my size proportions. It made me feel a bit self-conscious of my height, but I got over it in minutes.

We went to other small shops and bought various items, and ninja tools. We were pretty much set to leave, but I just had to step into one more shop. This store had just about everything, but what caught my eye was something only Deidara would love, and I actually bought it.

It was clay, not explosive clay, but I thought he might like it anyway. Hidan looked at the clay and laughed. "Oi, Sayuri, looking too win over Deidara-Chan?" He always gave him that insulting honorific.

"No! I just thought he might be able to keep himself busy with this instead of bothering me all the time." It seems I worded my sentence wrong, because Hidan took it in a whole different direction.

"I didn't know you two took it that far! Nice job Sayuri, I thought Deidara would never take a liking to any girl." Well he didn't actually say it so nicely, but to spare details, let's just say this is what he meant.

We were done with this little village, so we packed everything up, and headed back. It was getting a little dark, but that was okay. If there was a surprise attack, Hidan would know what to do, and I would follow orders.

We got home quicker than it took to get to the village. Almost everyone was back from their mission, Sasori and Deidara sat on the couch in the living room flipping through channels on the T.V, while Kisame, Itachi, and Zetsu sat in the kitchen playing cards.

I set the Bags on the counter and began putting everything into their rightful place. Then my hand hit a small bag, I had almost forgotten, I had bought clay for Deidara. I wonder why I had bought it in the first place.


	3. The search

I just stood there, holding the small pouch filled with white and pasty clay. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to walk over and give it to him. I almost pitied myself for being such a coward. I glanced at the bag one more time, and began to walk.

He sat there watching a show that I had no interest in. Sasori sat on the other side of the couch watching the TV carefully. I carefully made my way up to Deidara, clutching the small bag a tad tighter than I had meant to.

"Oi, Deidara, h..here I bought some clay when we went to get groceries, I don't think it's the kind that explodes but, um here." If I was a nice person this is how the conversation would go, and he would kindly accept my offering, but that's not how we work.

"Oi, Baka, I got some clay, take it or leave it." Deidara glared at me for a second, but then he gestured for me to bring it to him. I chucked the small pouch and he caught it before it could drop to the floor. I turned to walk out of the room, but Deidara's voice made me stop.

"Thanks Say-Chan." I couldn't believe it, was he actually thanking me? I had to replay the moment over again before I could understand clearly. I glanced over my shoulder, and he was looking in my direction with an innocent smile. For some reason I smiled back, then I made my way out of the room.

Once I finished putting everything away, I decided to take a walk outside to get some fresh air. I was a bit surprised to see Tobi standing outside; he seemed to be playing with some sort of stick.

I like Tobi, because well he's like me. He doesn't get a fancy cloak, because he isn't exactly a member of the Akatsuki, well not yet. Tobi is always nice and to be honest, he reminds me of a little brother I never had.

"Tobi! What are you doing?" I skipped up to him to see exactly what he was doing. He turned to face me, and his mask shielded me from seeing his face. I assumed he was in a good mood.

"Say-Chan! Tobi was being a good boy." I smiled at him, when he called me by my embarrassing nickname, I didn't mind it. All of a sudden, Tobi grabbed my hand and dragged me down to the floor. I gasped from sudden pull, and I hit my head on the way down. I thought he was crazy, but then I looked up.

The sky was beautiful; there was no other word to describe it. I gazed at the stars every single one of them glowing in the darkness. I turned to my side to see that Tobi was gone. How long have I been out here? It had only been a couple of minutes, were could he have gone?

"Oi, Tobi! Where are you? Tobi!" I got up and started to search for him. I checked the base first, but no one had seen him. I began to worry, hastily I ran back outside calling his name. I realized he wasn't anywhere near the base. I ventured out further looking for the masked man.

"Tobi! Come on, this isn't funny!" I didn't realize where I was going, or how long I had been looking. I was suddenly lost. I sat down on the dirt floor and thought about all the places he could be. How can I find Tobi if I don't even know where I am? I laughed at myself, I was pitiful.

Why do I even stay with the Akatsuki? I'm not good at anything, and I'm nothing special. I thought about these questions for a long time, and called Tobi's name once more.

"So, Sayuri this is where you were all this time." I could hardly move when a deep, and raspy voice answered my call. In a panic, I froze.


	4. Forgotten memories?

I sat there, frozen. I've never heard this voice and being the coward that I am, I didn't face him. I heard footsteps, he was coming. I held my breath and closed my eyes.

"Don't be afraid, Sayuri. I won't kill you." I wanted to cry out to somebody, but who would come? I was in the middle of nowhere. I finally took a glance in his direction. He was a ninja of the village hidden in the Stone, his headband showed me that much. He had black hair that was just long enough to touch his shoulders.

I had never seen this man, he seemed young, but his voice was low. I tried to get away, but my body wouldn't allow me to. That's when I figured it out, I wasn't lost at all.

"G..genjutsu" I stuttered on the word. The stranger smirked, and gave me a sarcastic round of applause. He stopped a few feet away from me and reached behind his back for something. It was a single kunai; he held it in his hand for a split second, then threw it directly at the ground in front of me.

I winced at the sound of it piercing the ground, if I had been a few inches from where I am, I would have been hit. "That's my last kunai, I don't aim to hurt you." His voice wasn't as raspy as it was before. I decided I would speak up.

"What do you want from me?" He looked at me with bright green eyes, and frowned. "I have been looking for you, for quite some time now. I know of the Akatsuki, and I know of your, er, memories." He had been tracking me down, why?

"Let me break this down for you, the reason you don't remember your life prior to being with the Akatsuki is because; your memories are locked up inside of your mind." Who is this man, why does he know so much about me? He took a few more steps towards me, and I shivered.

"You couldn't take the pain of your memories, they haunted you. You wanted to be free from the terrible things you had done. You asked me what I wanted from you, I want vengeance." I was confused, and scared. I wanted to run away from this man, from this world.

"Who are you?" I almost yelled this question. He looked down at me, with a frown on his face. "It's a shame, you don't even remember the people you have killed. My father died by your hands, but you will remember everything soon enough." I still couldn't move, his Genjutsu had a deadly lock on me.

He raised his hands together creating a hand signal, and uttered a single word. "Release!" Suddenly, my head was unbearable painful. I screamed in pain, everything was coming back to me. I couldn't see clearly, my head was pounding, everything I had done was displayed before me.

Every murderous act, every merciless killing. I had done these things, I had ruined these lives. I soon realized why these memories had been locked up, it was a pitiful way to hide from the truth. The man had disappeared, so this is what he meant by vengeance.

The pain had gone away, but the memories remained, I was breaking down. I could move again, but when I tried to stand up, I only fell. I was out of my mind, I reached for the kunai left in the dirt floor. I didn't know what I was doing.

I lifted the sharp blade to my stomach. Was I about to end my own life? I had no control, my vivid thoughts caused me to hate myself. I was about to plunge it into my stomach, I was about to end it all.

A hand caught my own before I could make contact with my skin. I slowly lifted my head to find that a certain blonde had stopped me. "Oi, Sayuri! What the hell are you doing!" He gripped the knife and threw it in the other direction. He seemed out of breathe, and a little bit worried.

I looked into his one viewable eye, I could feel myself start to shake. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I wanted to die, I had done terrible things. He looked at me, worry spread across his face.

"Come on, let's get you home. It's cold out here." He took off his cloak and settled it around my shoulders. I was drowning in my thoughts, and standing up was the least of my worries. Deidara tried to help me up, but when my body wouldn't comply, he sighed.

"Sayuri-Chan, what happened to you, un?" I couldn't speak, I just sobbed. He stopped trying to get me on my feet, instead he lifted me into his arms. I looked at him with wide eyes, and he just stared straight ahead. He carried me away from the area, and out of the trees.

There was nothing but silence. The entire way back he just walked, and I almost fell asleep. He smelled nice, and I could fade away into his aroma. He suddenly came to a stop, outside of the base. Setting me on my feet, I could bear to stand.

"Sayuri-Chan, I need to know, everything, mm." He was avoiding my eyes, and I took a deep breath. "I remember it all now. Everything I've done, a man from the hidden stone released my sealed memories. I..I did horrible things, De..Deidara!" I started to cry again, and he walked away to the side, rubbing his neck.

"Deidara, I…I…I didn't know what to do, I'm a terrible person, I can't live with myself!" He turned around instantly, and ran into me, wrapping his arms around my small body. I gasped, and he held on tighter.

"Idiot, how could you say something like that, un." I whimpered, and wrapped my own arms around his waist. We stayed like this for a moment, then he unraveled his arms and wiped my tears. We both walked into the base, and he walked me to my room. He made sure every sharp thing was out of my reach, and he made sure I was asleep when he left.

I couldn't tell, but despite everything that happened that day, Deidara had made it alright, a little. Dear God, was I falling for him?


	5. The letter

_Whoa! I am a despicable human being. I'm am so sorry guys, with Christmas, New Years, and other things going on in my life this has been on hiatus. Oh and I've got kingdom hearts dream drop distance, I've been a very busy lady. Anyway sorry once again, but enjoy!_

* * *

The funny thing about dreams is that no matter how far away you are when you are dreaming, you always wake up in the same place you left off.

I sat up in my bed and looked around trying to adjust my eyes to the sudden light. Mornings were usually quiet, but this silence was a bit unsettling. I tried to get out of the covers but my hand got caught on a blanket or something.

It wasn't a blanket, when I lifted the object to see what it was it had a cloud print. The same cloud print worn by every Akatsuki member, however this one in particular belonged to Deidara. I had forgotten to give it back from the night before! I mentally punched myself for being so stupid.

I gently placed my bare feet on the ground and lifted myself out of bed. My head felt heavy, I guess it wasn't used to all of the thinking. I could remember everything clearly, especially the man from before. His father was considered very rich and powerful in the Hidden Stone, I craved power.

The more I thought about it, the more my head weighed me down. I walked out of the room attempting to leave the bitter memories behind. Of course they followed me, clinging to my thoughts.

The hallway was empty; normally one or two Akatsuki members wandered the halls at this time. I felt uneasy, but I shook it off and began to walk. I made my way to the living room; once again no one was to be seen. I began to worry, where could everyone be?

"O..oi! Is anyone here?" I looked around the living room one last time and walked towards the kitchen. I called out again, but no answer followed. That's when I saw the note, delicately placed in the middle of the dining room table.

I won't lie, I was half expecting it to say some clichéd story of how all of the Akatsuki members were being held captive and only I could save them. I know, I'm naïve.

This is what it really said:

_ Sayuri, we left to investigate important Akatsuki related things, Tobi has accompanied us so don't go looking for him. You are alone for three days, keep the base safe. – Pain _

I read the letter over and over, they just left, no goodbye or warning! They just, disappeared. I gripped the letter in my hand tightly, three days, that's not very long. I read it one last time and went to put it back when a small slip of paper slipped out.

Curiously I bent down and gently picked it up off the floor. I unfolded it carefully and began to read:

_ Say-Chan, I know you are probably freaking out. You'll be fine alone, just don't try anything funny. We will be back so don't worry, and don't even try to think about last night, actually try not to think at all. About my cloak, keep that and the base safe. ' .stupid. –Deidara_

I tried not to smile at this note, but my mouth wouldn't obey me. Something about this little letter made me feel better about everyone being gone. I don't want to but, I think I may have fallen for a certain blonde artist.

I stood there, not knowing what to do, what to think. I had no idea how I was going to protect this base when I can't even protect myself, but I am willing to do anything I can. I took a look around and decided to eat before I did anything.

The fridge was full from the shopping trip Hidan and I went on. I took a plain yogurt and closed the cold fridge. I sat down at the table, spoon in hand and yogurt half way peeled open. I felt a sudden pulse in my head, and a bright flash crossed my eyes. My mind played a familiar scene that I had tried to push away, but had failed.

The memory was of a woman whose name was long forgotten, she seemed like she was dying, and I wanted to help her with every fiber of my being. I struggled with my own thoughts, I knew it was just in my head yet I tried to help her. I suddenly realized this was another victim, killed by non-other than myself.

The thought ended and I was back in reality. I let my head drop down on the table, making a loud thump as it made contact. Swiftly I ripped what remained of the lid off of my yogurt, and dunked my spoon into it. I sighed softly trying to concentrate on eating my yogurt cup, my long mocha hair swung loosely at my side.

It was going to be a long three days.


	6. Day one, I Can't Believe They Left Me

_Alright, finally got this chapter going, sorry for the wait!_

Day 1:

I sat at the kitchen table, my yogurt gone and my mind pounding. I lifted my head from the cool table and looked around. There was no sign of life anywhere, 'So they really did leave.' I let out a long sigh and jumped out of my seat.

"Today I'll get shit done!" If anyone had heard that I would have been laughed at continuously. I mentally punched myself for yelling that out loud, even though I was the only one there to hear it.

I walked around the base a few times and came to the conclusion that there was absolutely nothing to do. 'It's so lonely and boring…' I had never really thought about what would happen if everyone just disappeared. What if they don't come back? I didn't want to worry but I couldn't get that question out of my head.

I finally decided to take a walk, maybe even visit a nearby village. I grabbed Deidara's cloak and stuck both arms through the sleeves. The cloak wasn't fit for a small petite girl like me. The sleeves were long and I had to roll them up, but the length of the cloak was something I couldn't fix.

I tied my hair in a loose ponytail and slipped on my shoes, now that I was ready I set out. My feet moved in a slow pattern, one after the other. I took one more glance at the base and made my way into the trees.

I took the same path Hidan and I took on our little shopping trip. I have walked this path so many times that it bothered me, but who cares? One more time wouldn't be so bad.

Deidara's P.O.V

"Sasori Danna, how much longer do we have to wait here, un?" I was growing impatient. For every second that went by, Sayuri was on her own. It made me nervous thinking of her all alone, with nobody there.

"Soon Deidara, I'm sure the cue will be given and we can begin." Sasori had a way with calming the mood of situations. Everyone could tell that I was stressing over leaving Say-Chan alone, but Sasori calmed me down a bit.

"I wonder if she woke up yet… I mean she could still be asleep and have no idea we are gone, mm." The thought of her waking up to no one made me cringe. I wonder why I worry about her so much, I mean it's not like she's anything to me but a comrade.

That was a lie. I think of her as so much more than a comrade, but my big mouth always misleads her. I want her to know how I feel but I'm not really all that…how should I say it? Lovey dovey. I act on impulse half the time and the other half I wing it.

"Gah! That was it right! Let's go, un." The cue was a simple hand signal. This began part one of our mission; location. The reason Say-Chan wasn't allowed to come was because we are changing location, if she had come she would only be a burden; and we all know she would object to the idea of leaving, but that's what we do. We don't stay in one place for too long, we're always moving around Sayuri just hasn't been around to see it.

Oh, right back to the mission, shit. Sasori was already way ahead of me. We already found a perfect base, something out of sight and well hidden. The next step was "marking" it as property of the Akatsuki. This meant using a sealing jutsu that would act as a barrier to keep trespassers and unwanted guests away.

I watched as Sasori stopped in his tracks lifting his hands into a signal. I took one last glance and began my part of the process. In order for the jutsu to work we had to cooperate as a team. Sasori and I are supposed start the jutsu which isn't hard but not exactly a piece of cake.

He started the hand signals and in turn I began building up my chakra, once I was done he would take the chakra from me and use it in the jutsu. That was it, not much for us to do; though it did make me exhausted.

"Phew, I'm so tired, un." I let out and exasperated yawn and plopped to the ground. Sasori rolled his eyes and smirked.

"Deidara, it didn't take too much chakra for that. You must be going through some kind of growth spurt." I glared at him. So what if I'm the youngest, that doesn't mean anything.

"Alright, so you're older. Like I care! I could beat your ass any day, mm!" Somehow It didn't come off as strong as I'd hoped, or maybe it was because after those words everything went blank.

In my mind it played an unfamiliar scene, something only I could dream up. It was of me, a smaller version of myself. I soon realized that this was something from the childhood I had long forgotten. I wanted to forget everything about my childhood, the way I was raised, the people I trusted, and the friends that I thought were real. Though somehow Sayuri made her way into my dream; but a much smaller version than she already is.

She was a cute kid, even if she was made from my imagination. She had the same brown hair, though much shorter and more curls. Her green eyes were big, and her lips were pink. I looked at her; the Sayuri I created in my mind looked a shit load like the one I knew. Suddenly she waved, her tiny body swayed with her hand and her curls bounced.

I waved back, but soon I realized that both of my hands were wrapped up, like they were trying to hide something. I remember now, I hid my hands because if I showed them people would make fun. Mini me put let his arms drop to his sides and I could tell he was pissed off about something. That wasn't unusual for me when I was young, I'd get mad at the stupidest things.

"Oi! You're Deidara right?" I hadn't realized she came up to little me (I'll just call him Dei-Kun) I didn't know how I was going to react, in dreams anything can happen. Dei-Kun just sized her up and tried to turn away. Sayuri didn't like that very much, judging by the way she grabbed his shoulder making him spin on his heels to meet her gaze.

"Well are you or aren't you?" Her green eyes blazed into his and he let his guard down. "Who wants to know?" She was getting annoyed. "Me stupid! Who else asked you that question?" Dei-Kun just nodded his head "yeah I am, un." She looked confused for a moment than began to smile.

"Wanna play ball?" She cocked her head to the side her curl bouncing lightly. Dei-kun shook his head and Sayuri shrugged. "Then I'll just stay here with you."

I woke up with a jerk and gasped. For some reason those words stained my head, _I'll just stay here with you._


	7. Day two, Kotaro

"That'll be 100 yen." The grocery clerk handed me the ripe apple and in exchange I handed over the money. I ended up staying at a hot springs hotel in the little village. I don't know why but being in a hotel where over people is staying too made me feel better.

I walked out of the shop, Deidara's cloak drug on the ground and I bent over to pick up lag; In that second a familiar face flashed pass my field of vision. My head shot up and I whirled around to see the man from that night standing there, mocking me.

"Well, I didn't think you would be out and about." His smirk made me sick and I got that same feeling of wanting to run as fast as I could. This time I wouldn't back down, I remembered the jutsu that I had locked away and I could fight.

"Now, now you look like you're about to kill someone. Could you be mad at me?" I clenched my teeth and glared at him with eyes that could only be filled with hate. Though I remembered, how could I be mad at this man? I was the one who killed his father; I should be the one that's hated.

I let my guard down and he was now in front of me. I knew what I had to do; I had to apologize for the actions of the person I once was. I looked down at the cloud printed cloak and sighed.

"I'm truly sorry. I can't bring your father back. I don't know the person I was and I'd rather there not come a time when I meet her." I lowered my eyes, "I'm sorry Kotaro-kun."

I hadn't noticed the whole time I let those words escape my mouth I bowed lower and lower. I straightened myself up and glanced at Kotaro. His face had an expression I'd never seen from him before. I couldn't tell if it was relief or joy, but his mouth was upturned in a smile.

"Sayuri, There's something you should know. I only released the bad memories locked in your head. I think it's time to let the rest go. I can do it, but I need you to trust that I won't harm you."

I stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Surely one little apology wasn't enough to settle things. Why would he be willing to do that for a murderer? Why for someone like me?

"You're wondering why right? You see, my name is something you know from the memories returned. The person I am is somebody in the memories still forgotten. There is also somebody else residing in those memories, and he is somebody that will become very close to you. I want you to know about you're past… all of it. That is my reason. Although my father died by your hands, you are still living. Sayuri, you must live to remember."

Deidara's P.O.V

I couldn't shake the feeling that the dream from yesterday meant something. Why would those words stand out above all the rest?

"Deidara, look alive, we have work to do." Sasori snapped me back into reality and I was grateful. "Oh yeah, I guess I just spaced out a bit, un."

It's the second day and the second part of the big move is summoning the Edo Statue meant for sealing tailed beasts. This required every Akatsuki member's chakra.

"Oi, Sasori Dana, un. I know I've asked this a lot, but how do you think Sayuri's doing?" I glanced at him and he let out a short but mocking laugh. "Deidara, focus on the mission. Sayuri is an adult; she can take care of herself. You on the other hand…"

I sighed, knowing he was right and that pissed me off. I clenched my fist just enough for him to notice and not break the hand signal at the same time. When he did notice he just let out that same annoying laugh. The one that made me want to make some art with his face.

"Come, come Deidara. Let's not get too mad." His sarcasm made the anger inside of me threaten to boil over. I couldn't get angry now; if I did it could mess up the entire jutsu.

"Do you think we will finish early?" Kisame was obviously growing impatient with this jutsu, all of us were. It took time to precisely accomplish the Edo summon. Time was something we liked to use wisely, or in a better way than this.

"Didn't you pass out yesterday? What happened?" For some reason there was concern in Sasori's voice, but any trace of it was gone before it even came. "Oh wait I forgot, you used too much chakra on a simple jutsu."

"Shut up asshole! I don't know what happened, un. I had enough chakra, I was sure of it, yeah." I was sure I still had chakra after the jutsu, I felt fine, and maybe I was exhausted. The dream came to my mind again; I think I was forced into the past.

How could I tell them that though? No, I'll just keep my mouth shut.

Sayuri's P.O.V

"If I let you do this I'll remember everything? Are you sure it will work?" I looked at Kotaro in the hotel room I led him to. I wasn't sure it was safe to let him in here even if he had promised my safety.

"Yeah I'm sure. Though I must warn you, the pressure may hurt for a bit." I remembered the ache from last time and cringed. Kotaro saw that and couldn't help but smile.

"Don't worry; if it hurts I could take the pain away." The edge in his voice gave me goose bumps. He was edging closer and closer to me and I could now feel the heat of skin next to mine. His face was so close and I was scared.

"N…No!" I pushed his chest and he laughed. "I was just joking. I'm not some kind of rapist ya' know." I wanted to hit him but I knew it wouldn't help anything.

"So let's get this over with." I was ready to go through with this, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know what my past was like. What if it affects my future with the Akatsuki? What about Deidara? I can't let this interfere with my new life, I just can't.

"Alright, I'll begin now." He made a hand sign and I could see a ghost of a smile forming on his lips. It wasn't long before he chanted the word: "Release."

I could feel the same pounding in my head as the time before this, the aching pain that felt like a thousand needles. I grasped my head in pain it was almost too painful. There was pain and then there was peace, just like the time in the forest.

"Are you okay now?" I could hear Kotaro's voice. Kotaro… I could remember him clearly now. He was one of my good friends, the kind I wouldn't trade for anything. I could remember the small him the one I used to play ninja with and roll in the grass with.

"Kotaro… I'm so sorry!" I pulled him into a hug that knocked him out of breath. Tears were in my eyes and I didn't want to let go. I never wanted to let go of this moment. "Sayuri, I...can't breathe!"

I loosened my grip and giggled. He smiled at me, but I knew I could never apologize enough for the death of his father.

I let him go and stood up. As soon as I did this my mind played a new image. It made me gasp when the sight I saw was of a smaller version of the Idiot I love, Deidara.


	8. Day three, The Akatsuki Return

_Authors note: I barely realized that I the last chapter was kind of confusing… Have no fear this one should explain everything, I hope. I'm sorry about this being so late it took a lot of plot mixing around to come up with it._

* * *

"Oi, Sayuri- Chan, can I ask you something, un?" I nodded my little head, my curls bouncing with my movement. "Do you think my parents were bad, yeah? Or I don't know… They rubbed off on me in some way?"

I stopped, my hands on my tiny hips and my face turning red from either holding in anger or tears. He fell down from the surprise turn. "Dei-Kun you idiot! Of course your parents weren't bad! Neither are you, you're good I know it." Deidara had a surprised expression and he was slowly smiling. "Thanks stupid. Now help me up, un."

We had this little way of telling each other how we feel by insulting each other. "Hey Sayuri, Deidara!" We both turned around to see Kotaro smiling there with his short black hair and bright green eyes. "Took you long enough." I laughed and playfully punched him in the arm. This was nice; I had friends that I loved. That I still love.

That scene had played in my head a lot, I wouldn't let it go. It was now the third day, they will be back today. I had said goodbye to Kotaro who had hesitantly let go of my arm as I left. I couldn't stay with him I knew that I had killed his father who had always been there for me, and I had been the one to cause him pain.

Having everything from my past back was like opening a new door for me. There were still the bad and horrifying memories that left me cringing at the thought. Then there was the sweet moments of my childhood where playing tag and ninja were my top priority. So here's the story:

I had come from the snow village. So that was why I loved winter and the white flakes that fell in a beautiful pattern. Whenever the snow village was short on supplies we would visit our allies on a ship and usually stay there for a couple of months, I was only seven. I had learned to love the village hidden in the stone, and one day our ship left but never returned, so we had to become a part of the village too.

I made friends and my family was with me. Until the day when things started to go wrong. I had only been about thirteen years old when Deidara left to join the Akatsuki. He left without telling anybody, not even me. I was scared for him and I thought I would die without him. I could hear whispers about him and that scared me even more. Everyone believed he was dead, or turned rogue.

That was my first real wound that pushed me to assassinating people. The second was the day my parents died. It was months after Deidara was gone and I hadn't gotten over his loss. They told me to stay in the village as they were going on a top secret mission. It was a week later that their bodies were found together with marks that announced they were murdered. I lost it then. Nobody could numb my heart that now laid broken into tiny fragments of who I once was; happy.

I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes; I needed to tell Deidara everything. No matter how much it hurt he needed to hear it from me, not Kotaro or anyone else. I imagined his expression it would have to be one of surprise or even joy. There were also questions I needed to ask him.

Deidara's P.O.V

* * *

"It's today! Sasori It's really over! We can finally go home, and then… come back here." I sounded bipolar. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or sad about leaving. I know Sayuri will have a fit, and I think I might miss the base I've come to love. It's the place Sayuri sleeps, eats and lives; I have to love it.

That sounded really sappy. I can't get her out of my mind, the way she talks, laughs, cries; I want to keep her with me forever. I never want to lose her, again.

I have to duck under a branch; we're closer to getting back home with every step. Sasori stops me before I fall into a ditch. "One more step and you would have broken something. Stop being so excited it's annoying."

I just looked down and let out a small laugh. Everyone was tired and wanted to get home as soon as possible, but we still had a long way to go. Once in a while we would stop and scout the area. We would get there eventually though.

"Awh damn it! I hate moving!" I let out an annoyed grunt as we made our way through more trees. Every minute felt like an hour and we were all impatient, but I had someone to keep me going.

Sayuri's P.O.V

* * *

It was now getting late, it was dark out and they still weren't here; and even worse, I was getting really tired. I didn't want to be asleep when they got here. I couldn't! I had too much to tell Deidara.

I clang to the cloak around me and laid my head on the couch, slowly drifting in and out of sleep.

Soon enough I gave in. My eyes dropped and I was out like a light, and all I could think of was Deidara.

Deidara's P.O.V

* * *

We made it. Here we are, I'm right in front of her and she's asleep. Her hair is loose and my cloak is around her. It was the most beautiful sight I had seen. She was alright, the base was alright and I found myself smiling.

"Should I wake her up?" I whispered to everyone around me. Every Akatsuki member gathered around to see the sleeping figure. I heard Hidan quietly laugh and the other's holding it in. Finally I poked her cheek waiting for her to react.

Slowly she opened her eyes, she seemed surprised but what she did next surprised us all.

Tears fell from her cheeks as she pulled most of us in for a hug.


	9. The Calm After the Storm

I held on tightly to the Akatsuki members I had in my grasp. I don't know why I suddenly hugged them like that but it just felt right.

"Oi…Sayuri-Chan?" Deidara spoke up first and I snapped back into reality. I let go and blush spread across my tear streaked face. "S-sorry! I didn't mean to do that, and cry."

Everyone looked at me and I noted how Hidan laughed, fore I would get him back later. I stood up slowly and the cloak that had been worn the past three days by me slid off the couch. Swiftly Deidara picked it up and draped it over his shoulder.

I said goodnight to everybody and mad my way towards my room when I felt the presents of an artist nearby. I glanced behind me to see Deidara coming towards me with two cups of something that I couldn't identify.

"Thanks." I murmured as he handed me the mystery drink. I took a sip and realized it was tea. I opened the door and we both entered in silence, he sat on the end of my bed as I stood in front of him.

"Deidara, I have to ask you something." His gaze turned to me as he waited for me to speak up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I knew the question was unclear but I was sure he would get it. He looked confused for a moment then considered my words as he took a sip of his own tea.

"I thought, well I knew that you'd figure it out on your own." He stuttered a bit and I sighed.

"I didn't though. I had to get Kotaro's help." I tried to keep calm but I had too much too say.

"Deidara. Why didn't you try to find me? I went on a killing rampage and you don't even bat an eyelash?! You didn't even look for me! And when the Akatsuki found me with no recollection of anything you knew it was me!" I was careful not to yell but I kept a stern voice.

He looked hurt by my words but regained his composure. "Sayuri, I couldn't drop everything and look for you. I had things I needed to do, un. I don't know why I didn't tell you, I just…" He stopped when he looked into my eyes that began to tear up once more.

His hand reached out and touched my cheek lightly brushing a fresh tear away before it could fall. He pulled me forward gently so we were face to face. Then when our lips were so close that they were almost touching, he pulled away.

In that moment I felt all the pain and sorrow that I had tried to push away but somehow came back in a roaring tide of emotion. "Get out." I whispered it so softly yet he heard it so clearly that in two seconds he was out of my sight, and I was to the floor crying until I fell into a distressed sleep.

* * *

"Arise and shine Say-Chan, what're you doin' on the floor for god's sake?" I awoke to the sound of Hidan and Kakazu as my wake up call. Well mostly Hidan.

"What time is it?" I slowly opened my eyes to adjust to the light. "Time to get going; Konan packed your things when you fell asleep." Kakazu answered with a strict annoyance.

"Wait…What?!" I stood up so quickly that my head ached but I ran passed Hidan and Kakazu into the living room where everyone stood with bags packed. "What's going on?" I was so confused at the image I was seeing.

"Deidara didn't tell you?" Sasori glared at the blonde artist and he shrugged and mouthed the words I forgot. I ran up to Deidara and grabbed him by the collar of his cloak bringing him down to my size.

"You forgot what?" I held my scowl as his hands lifted in defense. "We, the Akatsuki, are moving, yeah."

"How come nobody mentioned this to me?!" I turned to the other men and Konan. "Cuz' we knew you'd do this." Deidara's voice annoyed me further than I already was.

"Fine, you know what I'm okay with it. Let's go." I dragged my feet to the opening of the door before turning around to get a good look at the place. I wanted to take my words back. I knew I wanted to stay but maybe it was time for a change, and with that thought I stepped out the door.

* * *

About fifty minutes into our moving mission I began to worry about the new area. I scanned any nearby trees and tried to memorize the path to our old home.

Everyone decided to stop and rest before moving fore ward and I took it upon myself to venture out and see where any nearby villages are.

I looked around and walked for what seemed like forever until figuring out that I was now lost. I stood there knowing I would only get myself more lost with the more steps I took. I just had to wait.

I paced around before it came to my attention I wasn't alone. I heard the bush's shake and I thought maybe it was a fellow Akatsuki member coming to find me. I didn't know how wrong I was until someone grabbed me by my waist and held a kunai to my neck.

"Looks like we found Sayuri of the snow. Lucky us." Great.

I couldn't get out of this one without help; he didn't seem too keen on the idea of killing me soon. Maybe I'm the lucky one. "Why do you want me?" I could only manage a whisper with my shortage of breathe.

"Don't you know you're heads worth a pretty penny?" Right away I could sense a lie. If I was worth any money Kakazu would have already killed me to get it.

"Oh really I'm that famous?" I decided to play along, I don't know what this guy wanted but it wasn't money. "Come on, you and I both know I'm not on any wanted sign close enough for you to get anything, what do you want?"

He smirked, oh no. He pushed me to the ground and cutting my cheek in the process, he forced his own weight on mine as he put a hand over my mouth, his lips now to my ear. "You're just as pretty as they say you are." His mouth descended down my neck making me shiver in disgust.

"Let me go!" It was muffled through his hand as his lips made his way toward the buttons on my shorts as I tried to push him away. "Stop, no!" His hand moved from my mouth and down my waist.

"Help! Deidara, Somebody!" I yelled louder than I ever have in my entire life hoping someone somewhere would hear me. Somebody.

His hands undid the buttons and I yelled more trying to push the man away but he was too strong, "S…somebody!" I began crying as the man lifted my shirt up and bit harshly on my protruding hip, making me gasp. "Someone…" My voice was getting lower with every word, his lips locked on mine roughly muting my cries for help.

"Nobodies' going to help you my dear so just try to enjoy it." He pulled at my shorts sliding them down only a fraction of an inch before an explosion was heard close by.

"Sayuri!" I immediately recognized the voice of my hero. "Deidara, help me!" He ran through the trees moments later seeing the scene being played and instant anger grew on his face.

"You have ten seconds, to get off of her, and then I'm going to kill you either way, un." His face was boiling with rage.

The rapist only laughed "Oh, well ruin all the fun." He grabbed me by the arm twisting it back and holding the kunai to my neck once more. He earned a low growl from Deidara as he pressed his lips to my neck making me tremble in hatred.

"I didn't say I came alone, now did I?" Suddenly two men appeared behind Deidara, one kicked his feet out from under him and the other stabbed his chest with a sword.

"NO! Deidara!" I tried to pull away but he held his grip, "no. no. no. NO!" Something came over me, lightning flash I flipped the man to the floor and began attacking him with punches and hits. I don't recall much more but when it was over my hands were stained with blood and I stood with three bodies around me.

"Oh, no. This, this is just like when…" I rubbed my forehead with one hand forgetting about the blood until it spread across my face. I looked around for any sign of life and turned on my heel to see Deidara standing with shock as his emotion.

"D…Deidara!" I ran into his open arms and held him with all the strength I had left.

"Say- Chan, are you alright? Where did he touch you? He cut you; anywhere else he hurt you, un?" He grabbed my face inspecting it closely.

He asked too many questions at once and I smiled "I'm fine; It just kinda scared me, that's all."

"Don't ever do that to me again Sayuri-Chan, un."

I was about to tell him I had the situation under control until he seized me by the waist and gently our lips touched.

His kiss was like a calm wind after a rainstorm.


End file.
